Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix
by Zer0 Kataru
Summary: 100 PERCENT OC FREE!111one Gundam Wing remixed with TYI-style random elements and QUATRE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER! Prequel to SKBTGS - Battle for Sol. Ch.5 up! R&R!
1. Five Gundams and a Suicide Bomber

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Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix  
  
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A/N: I promised this was 100% OOC free... AND IT IS! Never said I couldn't make SandRock the most powerful gundam EVAR or have a million X-overs though ^_^ Before you flame me though, DUET MAXINE IS A REAL GW CHARACTER! She was canned, though. See Tori Yuki Ichimura's profile for Duet's info. But SHE IS NOT AN OC. NEITHER IS HER GUNDAM "WASHI OOKAMI" ("Eagle Wolf" or "Gryphon")!  
  
Chapter 01: Five Gundams and a suicide bomber  
  
Após na colônia 195, a guerra estava começando... Que acontecem!? Alguém ajustou-nos acima a bomba! Nós começamos o sinal! Que! A tela principal gira sobre! É você... ...Ah crap... Crap in a hat... Wrong line... Err...  
  
...In AD-2101, with high expectations, human being leave Earth to being a new life in space colo... ah screw it! I say this every damn episode, so let's just get on with it before I get flamed, shall we!?  
  
-Opening Song 01: Nittle Grasper's "Sleepless Beauty" O_o-  
  
Tooku de me o hikarasete  
  
Two pods, hitting the bottom and top, and "Heero"'s pod fly to Earth  
  
Mezameru monotachi matte iru  
  
One more flies to Earth  
  
Yoru no jouheki sasowarete  
  
Zero System boots up  
  
Utsurisumu mure no nukegara ni  
  
A dark figure that looks suspiciously like Duo skims its fingers across a keypad, and the cockpit lights up  
  
DEGUCHI NO NAI (YEAH)!  
  
"Duo" pulls his arms back  
  
Shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara  
  
"Duo" thrusts two levers forward  
  
KUZURERU HODO!  
  
A silhouette of Epyon flies across space  
  
Itsuwari o miSeTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111one  
  
The camera faces Earth, and pans around it, until it reaches where "Heero"'s pod landed  
  
Umarekawareru anata yo hitori hohoemanaide hitomi o irodoru!  
  
The camera shoots forward onto earth, and North America comes into view  
  
Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki ni mada meguriaesu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one  
  
The camera pans around and we see "Heero"'s pod approach  
  
SOTTO DAKISHIMETE KOWASU YO NI!  
  
Wing, DeathScythe, HeavyArms, ShenLong, Washi-Ookami and SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X strike a Ginyu Force/Sailor Moon style pose.  
  
-End Song-  
  
The camera flies into a nearby air control tower.  
  
"Unidentified craft, plase make conta~*CSSHH*" BOOMZ0R!!!!!  
  
"O_o WTF happened?!"  
  
"...An exposion, no da!"  
  
"We're getting a signal, a signal we are getting!"  
  
"I'll bring it up on the main screen, no da!" The large luxury plasma screen on the far wall turns on... Quatre appears.  
  
"O_o It's you!"  
  
"*evil Quatre-ZERO weasel laugh" Hello *EQZWL* Gentlemen... All *EQZWL* your base are belong to *EQZWL* JEMAAH ISLAMIYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111one *EQZWL -MARK II-*"  
  
(VIEW FROM THE GROUND)  
  
A bunch of workmen file away from the World Trade Center XIII, after a hard few years reconstruction... And Quatre's pod flies towards it, a clear "All *EQZWL* your base are belong to *EQZWL* JEMAAH ISLAMIYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111one *EQZWL -MARK II-*" blaring out of Q's pod. Random stupid people run in random directions, screaming. And then Quatre's pod hits the WTC-13. BOOM. Owch.  
  
(VIEW FROM THE CONTROL TOWER)  
  
Quatre's pod flies straight through the WTC, explosions wracking and totalling the building. The debris falls on and kills the construction men. SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X emerges from its pod and pulls its HEAT SHORTELS OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111one  
  
"We got a red alert, no da!"  
  
"DEPLOY ALL UNITS! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one"  
  
"... That's from Lylat Wars, you can't do that...From Lylat Wars, that is. Do that, you cannot! ^_^"  
  
Many Mobius Mk.II Mobile Armors (20 times fast, anyone? ... Wait, that's easy...) and Zaku Mobile Suits rise into the air, ready to engage SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X.  
  
Quatre's voice blared again from the intercom "You are on the path to certain death. And no, you cannot surrender. *EQZWL*  
  
"...WTF was that all about? That made no sense!"  
  
"You have no chance to survive. And you have no time either. So make it. *EQZWL*  
  
"..."  
  
"CAPTAIN! ...No da!"  
  
"...Deploy every Zig."  
  
"Do you know WTF you're doing? ...No da?"  
  
"TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!" Many "Zig" fighters launch from the airbase for no apparent reason, as 32-bit 2D graphics look a little weird fighting the mighty SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X.  
  
A/N: STILL OC FREE! Mobius MA's are the Arc Angel's primary attack units in the early part of Gundam SeeD, and Zaku's are the basic Zeon MS', just in case you're as anime deficient as the rest of Australia.  
  
(VIEW FROM THE AIR)  
  
SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X flies around, dodging all the OZ fire. It then flies straight to the OZ ranks, and pauses in mid-air. It turns around, cutting two Mobius Mk.II's in half, as the Zaku's spread out and train their machine gun fire on SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X. SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X gets blown down to the ground, crushing all the Zig division as it falls because the Zigs' Genesis (or whatever system Zero Wing is on) Mobile Doll system is STILL trying to boot up. The Mobius' close in on SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X, but its lower legs get up, and magically all the bullets start going in slow motion and miss SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X. It gets up, jumps and kicks a nearby Zaku four times in the head, effectively blowing it up.  
  
SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X then turns around, and wall-kicks off a conveniently-placed Mobius into another Zaku's head, blowing both Mobile Thingys up. SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X regains stability, and throws its HEAT SHORTELS OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111one, and they home in on and cut up all remaining MT's... except one Zaku. SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X runs towards the remaining Zaku, and jumps into the air right in front of it, striking a "Crane" pose. The camera pans around SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X, and as it reaches 180 degrees, the Zaku gets bored of the Matrix stuff, and walks away from its original position. As the camera hits is 360th degree, SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X launches a devastating kick... which hits nothing. The Zaku stands behind it, and the pilot says "Dodge THIS." The Zaku then empties all of its weapon into SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X... but obviously, weapons don't do anything to a suit made of Gundaminium Alloy, especially one with this many suffixes! SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X then punches the last Zaku in the head, finishing the battle.  
  
A/N: ...It's too short. I know. It sucked too, I know. But, it's my first time writing in almost a year, and it's a far sight better than my old fics (IMHO, but that's because I loathe OC's in most fics) R&R, or R&F WITH REASON!  
  
Zer0Kataru: Now that Quatre has arrived, how will OZ fare? What did all the other G-boyz do? Why the hell do they sound like reporters (hint hint) when they're fighting in episode 1? Is Quatre going to be insane for the rest of the show? Will he end up killing his Taliban/Magunac buddies? Does all our base really belong to Jemaah Islamiyah? Was one of the technician dudes Chirichiri? Why am I quoting an anime I have never seen and know nothing about? Find out all this and more in Chapter 2 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing-Phase Shift Remix: Brief Flashes... Duet, I thought you wear BOXERS! Pull those pants back up! You'd better get ready!  
  
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Replies to reviews ^_^  
  
Naomi Hunter - Thankies, but I bet that was pure patronization. And what does "nsi" mean?  
  
Yume Keki - Thanks... I guess. Err... Thanks ^_^ 9-year old Gundam-W fans that understand over half my jokes are hard to come by these days ^_^  
  
"Ticked off at the world and people who mess with the people I like()" - ...I find it amusing you didn't leave your author name... I wanted to compare your fics to mine ^_^ And I realize my fics are crap, but they're a far sight better than whoever it is that I just flamed. And yours, if you're enough of an otaku to write. Unless it's that cool fic about getting locked in a pantry. If so, that wasn't a flame, it was VERY constructive advice ^_^ But if it was that stupid-assed fic where there were OCs getting married to the G-Boyz, I seriously laugh at you for reply-flaming me ^__________________^ Oh, and one LAST note, you can't criticize ANY fanfic if you support a STORY (Those thigns suck too bad to be called fanfics) with OCs playing cheesy roles. Self-inserts are fine, as long as you can write VERY FREAKIN' WELL (which is why my SI fics were total failures, I suck at writing but I'm hella better than you and your imaginary friends, you lard-tub.) and don't have a relationship with a G-Boy, and obviously, Tori Yuki Ichimura's fics are ALL good, regardless of how cheesy because she really KNOWS the G-Boyz IN REAL LIFE ^_____________^  
  
*bows* Sankyuu, and sorry for the re-upload.  
  
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TO BE CONTINUED  
  
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	2. Brief Flashes Duet, I thought you wear B...

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Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix  
  
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Chapter 02: Brief Flashes... Duet, I thought you wear BOXERS! PULL THOSE PANTS BACK UP!  
  
Zer0Kataru: Last time, our he(e)ro, Quatre Raberba Winner, suicide (well maybe not SUICIDE) bombed the World Trade Center 13, and blew up all the OZ suits in the vicinity. Now, let's see what's going on with the other pilots...  
  
(Cut to Random Satellite)  
  
Two men sit in a dark room, senselessly tapping buttons on hand pads, watching the japanese kanji for "left" and "right" beat the pixels out of each other on a large video screen. A woman, intently watching another monitor near the back recoils in shock and exclaims "Yo, we have an incoming transport pod! Contact all available patrol shuttles and tell them to take it out!" Despite the woman's outburst, the two men continue to "sit" and "play videogames". "Idiots..." the woman mutteres, and radios Lieutenant Zechs Merquise to inform said man of the situation.  
  
The camera flies out of the satellite ad pans to face Earth. We see Hee-chan's pod fly to above planet as the camera flies into a nearby shuttle. Mr. Darlian sits at a bar, taking tequila shots with Relena, the two of them beating up (Well Relena smiled sweetly at them, but it rendered them unconcious regardless) shuttle crew members. As the finished off the last of the staff, Relena beams at the camera and says "This is when I turn around and reveal an important plot device!" She does said action, gasps, and in her drunkenness, exclaims "It's a shooting star!", quickly adding "THAT PILOT LOVES ME!", again due to excessive alcohol consumption, and promptly starts barfing to prove my point. On Heero's side, however... /MWAHAHAHAAH! Enemy shuttle inc! Better take it out. EAT BUSTER~!/ "URK!" the "urk" induced by spotting Relena and her face in the window. This was followed by an "It's...too...ugly...can't...breathe... X___x" the X___x, luckily, only being unconciousness. Needless to say, Heero fell asleep with a scowl, but the scowl became a smile as Relena started to wretch. As for Zechs? The satellite couldn't reach him, as he forced his lackeys to use dial-up internet, effectively closing all comms channels.  
  
(Cut to Random OZ Base. Deathscythe kills OZ suits with one hand and holds a microphone to its "mouth" with the other.)  
  
Duo: Duo here, for Random Generic News! I've almost finished wiping out the enemy suits, as you can *swipe* see to my *swipe* right *swipe* no, left *swipe* no, the other left *swipeswipeswipe* ...Ok, let's just say I'm Zer0Kataru's sister and can't tell the difference between left and right! Either way, the enemy suits are finished off, and I'm moving on to the base! ...Oh, wait... Yet another attribute of Zer0Kataru's sister... O_o;;; I forgot I already blew up the base... o_O;;; ...I'm going back to Howard's because the script tells me to.  
  
Deathscythe: *flies off*  
  
(Cut to another Random OZ Base. Heavyarms annihilates OZ suits like a Mobile Doll. The camera flies into Trowa's cockpit, where he's internally debating.)  
  
Trowa: Trowa here, just for the record. Is that saying I'm in my cockpit to break a record? A record of what? Now that you've seen me, I cannot let you live. Am I implying that those who see me must die? My cockpit is opaque. How can you see me? Does that mean you do not deserve death? Should I leave the battlefield in that case? Who am I? What am I doing here? How did Kennedy die? Who killed him? Who is Lady Une? Is she Midii Une? Does that mean I've been dating the bipolar colonel all this time? Is there a government conspiracy afoot...? (Aaaaand let's just leave it at that.)  
  
(Cut to America.)  
  
NEO SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X (Yes, I upgraded Sandrock... Again.) and his MAGUNAC OF DEATH army walk around randomly "suicide" bombing buildings and killing civilians. They don't realize they're killing civilians instead of OZ.  
  
Quatre ZERO: MWAHAHAHAAHAHA! DIE CIVILIANS! (Okay, scratch my previous statement) YOU MAY NOT SURRENDER!   
  
NEO SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X does a kamehameha at the camera, blowing up our view.  
  
As the snow fades, we see Quatre ZERO's face.  
  
Quatre ZERO: Quatre *EQZWL* here... *EQZWL* I've eliminated all the civilians... *EQZWL*...I think... *EQZWL* I TOLD YOU TO SURRENDER! ...*EQZWL*... Oh, wait... *EQZWL* ...NO I DIDN'T! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111one *camera explodes*  
  
(Cut to China.)  
  
Shenlong stands tall on a cliff. From the cockpit, Wu Fei screeches "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111one" and Shenlong is shot straight into an OZ base by a Buster Rifle shot from nowhere in particular. The battle begins. Shenlong flies at a command tower, slashing it apart with its bo as multiple Doms, Mad-Cats and Gelgoogs deploy from underground. (And if you don't know what a Dom or Gelgoog is, you're a sad, sad soul. Mad Cat is a 'Mech that's been around since about MW2. Maybe MW1. I haven't been around that long ^_^) The MC's lock into their missile towers (ala Freedom/Justice with Meteor) and launch a helluva lotta MRM's at Shenlong. The Gundam responds by flipping around in a feeble attempt to avoid the missiles. (Gundams are huge...) Eventually, Shenlong falls to the ground after a particularly painful 120-round burst to the head, and the other suits flock it, preparing to shoot their loads (tee-hee! ^_^| Trowa: ...And this man is how old?| Heero: He can't write properly, if that helps. I'm guessing around four?| And yes I could barely write when I was four. I read novels when I was around 3 1/2 though ^_^)  
  
(Cut to inside the cockpit)  
  
Wufei: Damnit... Wufei here. This is my frist battle... And it may be my last... O_o  
  
(Outside)  
  
The OZ suits just hover in place with their guns drawn. Shenlong grows a BIG sweatdrop, pulls its bo and cuts away. End battle.  
  
A/N: Ehh. Some more action than the last chapter. Still too short. Still sucked. Oh well. R&R!  
  
Zer0Kataru: OZ seems to really suck. The Gundam Pilots are all here... All but one. And that one won't be here for a LOOOOOOONG time. So now how will OZ beat the Gundam Pilots? Will Wufei ever learn to shoot the missiles rather than getting hit? Will Quatre EVER stop being ZERO? Is there REALLY a government conspiracy afoot? Can you see a Pilot when he's inside his suit? Who IS Trowa? How DID Kennedy die? What else did the script tell Duo? Will Heero ever wake up? All this and give or take (I doubt I'd ever tell you how Kennedy died...), in Chapter 3 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing-Phase Shift Remix: Heero's Bizarre Fascination with the Ocean! You'd better get ready!  
  
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Replies to Reviews ^_^  
  
Yume Keki - Yes, you are. Do I detect my first ever loyal reader? ^_^  
  
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To Be Continued  
  
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	3. Heero's Bizarre Fascination with the Oce...

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Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix  
  
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Chapter 03: Heero's Bizarre Fascination with the Ocean  
  
Zer0Kataru: Last time, our he(e)ro, Quatre Raberba Winner, randomly killed a bunch of civilians despite the fact he's not an American... Duo will get his revenge on the Arab later... And we saw what was going on with the other pilots who acted way too much like news reporters. I'd say that's about it, so let's see what's up with Heero and his ocean-y demise...  
  
Disclaimer_Bot: Hands up everyone who DOESN'T own Gundam Wing, Final Fantasy VIII, Blackheart's jokes, Tongue-Fu/Lick-Slapping or anything else mentioned in this fic?  
  
Zer0Kataru: *jumps up and down with hand up* OOH! OOH! ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!  
  
(Cut to a Random Spaceport)  
  
Relena & Mr. Darlian get off their shuttle, the crowds of paparazzi are backing away and falling due to the deadly combination of drunken punches and "sweet" smiles. Darlian is soon restrained by military personnel and makes a short, drunken speech to Relena, then falls unconcious due to Relena's attack of a smile and is driven away. Relena walks to the beach and makes a long speech about her birthday and the military, then spots Heero. She tries to jump the fence (and fails miserably... for half an hour) until Heero says "...There's a gate... And it's conveniently NOT LOCKED!" Relena promptly takes his advice and tries to open the gate... But fails. Heero sighs, gets up, opens the gate for her, then walks back and lies in his original position. Relena walks over, gasps overdramatically and makes YET ANOTHER excessively long speech about Alliance soldiers and small children (...that didn't come out right, did it?). She takes off Heero's helment, and he recoils back in the Heero Dance position, shrieking "DON'T TOUCH ME!", murmuring "...Did you see...?" after he calms down, Relena responding with "...Duh, you're wearing spandex and you were repeatedly moaning the word 'Duo' in your sleep..." from a dirty mind, which is rplied to by a slap in the face and a quick flip off. Relena says "Sorry... I'll call an ambulance... Not that you need medical attention" quickly, and on cue (without her calling for it), an ambulance arrives and paramedics file out wearing mats (you know those kind they land on during high-jump? like those, but small enough to wear). Heero, very scriptedly, jumps over the (now familiar) gate and strikes a fancy kung-fu pose after licking both his palms, screaming "B3W4R3 T3H P0W44 0F T0NGU3-FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one". Duo, Wu Fei and Duet all appear on the screen borders wearing silk shirts and floofy pants and chorus:  
  
"And everybody was"  
  
Heero runs up to the first paramedic, jumps in the air and delivers a fancy spin-kick to the head, finishing off with a slap from a licked hand  
  
"TONGUE-FU FIGHTING!"  
  
As Heero lands, he leg sweeps the next guy off-balance and uses the other licked hand for a slap so powerful it knocks the other guy off the staircase  
  
"Those cats were fAsT aS LigHtNINING!"  
  
Heero bolts to the ambulance, kicks the door down and Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s the driver who happens to be toting an assault rifle. Exasperated by his Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s ineffectiveness, Heero lick-slaps the driver right out of the vehicle in way-cool fashion (breaking through the other door) and drives off with his leg sticking out.  
  
In his dust, Wu Fei, Duet and Duo scatter as Relena extends her hand and says "My name is Relena.. er... *flips coin* *tails* Darlian... What's yours?" Soon, we hear Heero scream from his shiny new ambulance: "Dude! Where's my Gundam!?"  
  
(cut to a random classroom)  
  
An old-ish woman drags Heero into the room, (think when Rinoa drags Squall onto the dance floor during the inauguration ball... but...) said Fake-Japanese Boy not wearing uniform, but his classic green muscle-shirt and spandex, as well as handcuffs and any amount of kinky accessories your dirty minds can think of (Heero Fangirls/...Boys: *drool*). Everyone in the room admires Heero, their eyes trailing from his gruff face, to his relatively revealed built chest, to his Trowa-like (i.e non-existant) ass (Heero Fan...People: Can we drool again yet? Zer0Kataru: ...Not yet.), some people going as far as to lick their lips. The teacher, after clearing her throat to regain order in the room, says "Class, we have a new *cough*hot*cough* student today. Would you care to introduce yourself?" Heero, feeling uneasy from all the sexual-predatorial looks everyone is giving him, murmurs "The name's Heero Yuy. It's a pleasure," in his low, purring voice. (Zer0Kataru:... Now. Heero Fanpeople: *drool, some faint, some have epileptic seizures*) He walks over to sit next to relena under the teacher's instructions, Relena suggestively wriggling her eyebrows and licking her lips. Heero, of course, being his asexual self, doesn't understand and instead looks straight forward.  
  
(cut to the balcony)  
  
Heero leans on the railing, and the camera (fan-service style) zooms in on his face, accentuating his 508B-7 D American  
  
Anthem Blue eyes, (Yes, that's his real eye color. They compared it to paint chips at Home Depot. http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=734191&chapter=7 for proof) and making his hair sway in the wind in impossible fashion compared to the movement of his clothes. (Heero Fanpeople: *swoon*) This is interrupted by the tell-tale noise of Relena's groupies sucking up to above princess. (Heero Fanpeople: :O) Relena approaches Heero and hands him an envelope, saying "It's an invitation to my birthday party. I hope you'll be able to ma~," cut off, of course, by the lovely sound of Heero ripping the envelope in half in WAY cool fashion, and Relena starts crying. (Heero Fanpeople: *cheer*) Heero contemplates wiping Relena's tears away. Let's take a look inside his mind, shall we?  
  
Guy that looks like Heero #1: It's in the script! Do it!  
  
Guy that looks like Heero #2: But she's CONTAGIOUS!  
  
Guy 1: DO IT!  
  
Guy 2: Script or health?  
  
Guy 1: We won't get paid if we don't!  
  
Guy 2: Ratings will go up if we don't!  
  
Guy 1: ...I'm sold.  
  
Guy 2: Good! Then shall we?  
  
Guy 1: Yes.  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 2: I like swords!  
  
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!  
  
Guy 3: Urge to destroy world rising...  
  
...Ok... Let's just leave it at that. Either way...  
  
Heero makes up his mind, lick-slaps Relena, says "Omae o korosu," and walks away in waaaaaaay-cool fashion. Relena's spotlight moves away towards Heero, and we hear a loud "THUD!"  
  
A/N: Too short for the amount of time it's taken. And Quatre wasn't in this ep. Oh well, this chapter's titled about Heero. It's late, I need to post. But I swear I will post one chapter a week. Oh, and BTW, should I post the sequel to this fic or should it wait until this fic gains some popularity or finishes? (I want to post because I need to get a Gundam SeeD fanfic up before Gundam SeeD becomes popular in the US; I need to claim Mairyuu as MINE before anyone else does :D)  
  
Zer0Kataru: So, now that I've written enough Heero description for the whole fic, am I going to describe all the other G-Boyz in such anal detail? Will Guy 3 destroy the world? Will Quatre EVER get off his Zero high? Does Guy 2 REALLY like swords? Don't we all? Is Mairyuu mine? (yes) Do I overuse the term "way-cool?" Since we know Heero's exact eye color, will we ever know Duo's? Were those cats REALLY as fast as lightning? All this, give or take some, in the Chapter 4 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing Phase Shift Remix: Quatre Wants To See Trowa Again So He Can Kill Him! You'd better get ready!  
  
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Replies to Reviews ^_^  
  
Kouhikouryuu - Yes, parodies are healthy for you. Very nutritious. And what is "(DS)hell"? ...Do you mean deathscythe hell? If so, I don't get the joke o_O  
  
Yume Keki - Now, here's the reason everyone hated me... I corrected every little mistake they made... And despite you being my first ever loyal reader, I tried to resist it, but the temptation got the most of me: To "increase" a daily sugar dosage is to increase the size of a sugar dosage, meaning you have to take more sugar to get high (sugar is bad for your teeth too), so I believe you mean "fulfils" your daily sugar dosage... Gomen nasai for correcting you, but it's my nature (and why I like having penpals who speak Engrish)...  
  
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To Be Continued  
  
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	4. Quatre Wants To See Trowa Again So He Ca...

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Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix  
  
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Chapter 04: Quatre Wants To See Trowa Again So He Can Kill Him  
  
Zer0Kataru: Last time, our he(e)ro, ... ... Heero... lick-slapped a bunch of medics and got lusted over at Relena's school, tore up Relena's invitation to her birthday party, and had a VERY productive mental conversation involving the words "I like swords!" and "Welcome to Corneria!". So, now, let's see what's happening in other places.  
  
(Cut to the ruins of New York)  
  
Quatre-ZERO (complete with Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4) fights off legions of GINN & Gelgoog-Cannon MS ( on his own using just his Heat Shortels of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one (Well what other weapons does Sandrock have, huh?), with the entire Maguanac force sitting idly nearby drinking coffee, (they don't dare touch the tea) and all is fine and dandy until Trowa shows up in HeavyArms. Now, not wanting to be shown up by this uber-cool psycho spaztic blonde arab in a very-upgraded mech, Trowa (rather stupidly) fires all his missiles randomly towards Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4. Now, this blows up a few MS and kills a bunch of civilians who somehow survived Quatre-ZERO's rampage from Chapter 2, but some missiles fly straight at Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4. Said MS with a very long name, having been upgraded 11 times, obviously dodged every single missile fired at him by HeavyArms. Now, you see, since Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4 had been upgraded so much, it quickly killed the remaining MS and stepped on the remaining civilians. Quatre-ZERO, not wanting to kill his MAGUANAC ARMY OF DEATH, needed something else to kill, and he just happened to be looking at HeavyArms, which cringed at Quatre-ZERO's psycho-spaztic-blonde-arab look. Said psycho-spaztic-blonde-arab wanted to blow something up (being an arab and all), and so he faces off against Trowa, the western-movie-stand-off-face-switch-thingy occurs, only reaching halfway through the sequnce until Quatre-ZERO screams and thrusts some levers forward, the result being Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4 rushing at HeavyArms with its Heat Shortels of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one. HeavyArms quickly responds by pulling his switchblade (obviously a pair of giant gatling cannons and one even bigger one wouldn't damage Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4, so OBVIOUSLY a switchblade would do the trick!). However, you see, the uber-cool Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4 would kick any other MS' ass, so if we want our T-Bird to survive, he obviously MUSTN'T fight the mighty Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4. And so, for plot convenience...  
  
There are a bunch of seizure-inducing lights and random flashes of scenes including, but not limited to, a fat man incorrectly counting the leaves on a bonsai tree, somebody tripping over a ball of paper, another person plaing chess with a rock, and somebody screaming "THERE IS NO SPOON! There is, however, a spork, whihc combines the awesome power of a spoon AND fork!". Finally, the insanity dies down, and we no longer see the awesome Neo SandRock Kai Custom Zero Deluxe Remix Uber-color-scheme Collector's-edition X G-Generation Mark.4, but instead the super-craptastic American-dubbed SandRock with NO prefixes OR suffixes whatsoever! At all! NONE!, charging at the superior, yet equally prefix/suffix-less HeavyArms with Heat Shortels of NO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one and Switchblade drawn, respectively. Before either can hit another with their blades, though, Quatre (non-ZERO) chickens out and screams "We shouldn't be fighting at all!" Trowa, on the other hand, ignores him and cuts straight through the cockpit and kills Quatre (non-ZERO). Good. he's expendable. What we REALLY want is Quatre-ZERO inviting Trowa home and making jumpy,  
  
erotic,  
  
cock-filled,  
  
steamy,   
  
sweaty,   
  
panting,  
  
tiring,  
  
thumpy,  
  
hot...  
  
BIRD PIE! (What the hell did you think I was talking about?! Dirty minds!). Which is exactly what our beloved Quatre-ZERO did. And so they sat down and cooked jumpy, erotic, cock-filled, steamy, sweaty, panting, tiring, thumpy, hot bird pie. And then Quatre put the pie on the ledge to stand overnight and Trowa left. That, my friends, is what we call a "one night stand". *rim shot* ... *crickets chirp* ...Damn, some of Kouhikouryuu is getting into me... So, either way, after the morning sun, Quatre-ZERO and Trowa, both hot and sweaty from the previous night's...  
  
activities...  
  
which  
  
we  
  
all  
  
know  
  
don't  
  
we?  
  
It  
  
was...  
  
Actually  
  
I  
  
won't  
  
tell  
  
you  
  
yet  
  
you'll  
  
just  
  
have  
  
to  
  
find  
  
out  
  
for  
  
yourself  
  
below  
  
right  
  
about  
  
now  
  
No  
  
just  
  
kidding  
  
it  
  
is  
  
NOW  
  
Last  
  
night  
  
they  
  
did  
  
DANCE  
  
DANCE  
  
REVOLUTION! (What the hell did you think I was talking about?! Dirty minds!)  
  
So they were hot and sweaty. And when they woke up, they ate their jumpy, erotic, cock-filled, steamy, sweaty, panting, tiring, thumpy, hot bird pie they cooked the day before. And then Trowa left. And Rashid said "Quatre" WHIP-SOUND! "...Master Quatre... Are you sure it's ok for that boy to leave? What if he comes back to attack us?" And Quatre responded, "Oh yes, Rashid, I wish he would come back... then I could see him again... And then we could make  
  
jumpy,  
  
erotic,  
  
cock-filled,  
  
steamy,   
  
sweaty,   
  
panting,  
  
tiring,  
  
thumpy,  
  
hot... BIRD PIE! again..." And so the chapter ended. And at this rate I will never finish the fic in the intended 50 chapters. Now... Now that Quatre-ZERO has met Trowa and made jumpy, erotic, cock-filled, steamy, sweaty, panting, tiring, thumpy, hot bird pie with him, will they see each other again? Or has Trowa decided that Quatre isn't good enough for him? Will we ever see anything more of the other G-Boys? Wufei? Heero? And most importantly, Duo fan-service? All this (guaranteed) and more in Chapter 5 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing Phase Shift Remix: Who's Yo Momma?! Who's da BAD GUY?! You'd better get ready!  
  
Replies to Reviews! ^_^  
  
Kouhikouryuu - It's easy not to get the joke. Unfortunately, as a result, I got your bad-joking skills.  
  
Yume Keki - What angel/devil? If you mean Guy 1 and Guy 2, those were voices in Heero's head, not angels and devils. Heero's too dense for that kind of philosophy. And be bad, see if I care! *turns around*  
  
And SUPAA SPECIAL Reply to Review - an MST of Bishi's flame! ^_^ (Because you deserve it for reading through such a terribly short chapter!)  
  
Huh, surprised I didn't do this before... Wonder why it didn't occur to me...  
  
-Obviously, you try to score a guy based on his writing skill. Not many things must be going through your empty little head... If anything at all.-  
  
Anyway, getting to the point.  
  
-Sankyuu very much.-  
  
LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE'S FANFICS ALONE, YA JERK.   
  
-No. They tell me to R&R, I do. Except I leave out the first "R" and replace the second one with an "F".  
  
FLAMER, FLAMER FLAMER FLAMER!  
  
-*bows* Sankyuu.-  
  
HYPOCRITICAL FLAMER!   
  
-See above.-  
  
YES, I DO REALIZE I HAVE THE CAPS LOCK ON.   
  
-Good. I would be pissed if you didn't.-  
  
WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO GO AROUND DISSIN' PEOPLE'S FANFICS,   
  
-Every. Same right you have to flame mine :P-  
  
PARTICUARLY MY GIRL SAILOR KIRBY'S,  
  
-Are you SURE he's a girl?-  
  
YOU B**CH?   
  
-HAHA! You have to CENSOR the word bitch! ^_^-  
  
OKAY, SO SHE'S NOT OFFICIALLY MY GIRL   
  
-Replace girl with man and you'd be right.-  
  
BUT SHE'S STILL REALLY AWESOME   
  
-If she wrote non-OC fanfics, hell yeah! ...Damnit, I'm weak, I called him a her! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111one I'm getting my father's genes!-  
  
AND DESERVES BETTER THAN JERKS LIKE YOU GOING AROUND AND INSULTING HER.  
  
-Is that so? She writes OC fanfics. I think she doesn't.-  
  
I MAY NOT HAVE AN ACCOUNT   
  
-Dude, it's free. You must, like, OWE money to fanfiction.net-  
  
BUT THAT'S CAUSE I'M NOT A GOOD WRITER   
  
-Considering the fact you have caps lock on and very poor punctuation, I'd say you're right.-  
  
AND NEITHER ARE YOU   
  
-Ehh. Maybe you're right.-  
  
BUT SAILOR KIRBY IS.   
  
-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cshh*-  
  
SHE'S ALLOWED TO HAVE OCS   
  
-Everybody is; it's whether or not they can write it well that matters. And to stick it out, I agree that my OC fanfics sucked.-  
  
AND EVEN NAME ONE AFTER HER FRIEND.   
  
-If someone in real life is named Duoet, I question their parents' spelling and counting-in-foreign-language abilities.-  
  
GET OVER THE FACT DUET GOT CUT, CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!   
  
-...Because of Sotsu's lack of funding at the time.-  
  
SHE'S NOT COMING BACK.   
  
-O_o Yes she is. The OVA is coming out sometime next year, I hope. See my reply-review to "Heero & Relena's wedding" for details.-  
  
BE NICE AND QUIT FLAMING PEOPLE THAT ARE NICE.   
  
-I'm a mean person by nature, and "nice" does not make up for writing ability.-  
  
YOU REALLY UPSET POOR SK   
  
-"poor"? If anything, poor = you... You can't even afford an FF.net account ^_^-  
  
EVEN THOUGH SHE'D NEVER ADMIT IT   
  
-Dude, if she wouldn't admit it, how the hell would you know? You don't even talk to her directly...-  
  
AND YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR HURTING HER FEELINGS   
  
-Oh yes, SK, I am so very sorry for "hurting your feelings" despite I don't know the what the fuck that means.-  
  
AND IN THE FUTURE BE CONSIDERATE IN YOUR REVIEWS,   
  
-Considerate? *goes to www.dictionary.com* *internet is too slow* *goes off to upload this fic instead*  
  
YOU ASSHOLE!  
  
-Do I detect growing anger in your review? You used to censor the word "bitch".-  
  
There. I've said it. p   
  
-I was once told that the emoticons "|" and "X|" looked like said person was constipated. So if you think about it, you look like you're constipated and so somebody is giving you an enema while you're licking someone else's cock...-  
  
I hope you've learned something, Zer0.  
  
-Hai. I've learned that somebody that is very angry can type in all caps and still censor words.-  
  
-^_^ That was fun! ^_^ Please flame me if you honestly think this fic sucks or if you're defending Bishie or SK, I wanna practice my MST skills for use in large-scale F-Wars with my friends ^_^-  
  
===================================================================================================  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
=================================================================================================== 


	5. Who's you momma! Who's da BAD GUY!

===================================================================================================  
  
Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix  
  
===================================================================================================  
  
Chapter 04: Who's Yo Momma?! Who's da BAD GUY?!  
  
A/N: Yes, I DO realize I missed out on a large amount of the series just then, but I didn't feel it was important.  
  
A/N: I haven't updated in like a month. It's all exam's fault. I'll be back to normal schedule soon.  
  
(cut to a random road)  
  
Heero: *drives along in his ambulance, and obviously couldn't be screwed repairing it because the doors are still broken, and nobody else on the road gives a shit* *sings*  
  
"RIDIN' ALONG IN MY AUTOMOBILE"  
  
Random Schmuck who we didn't see Heero stab awhile ago: *passes Heero on his motorcycle*  
  
"MY BABY BESIDE ME AT THE WHEEL"  
  
Heero: *glares at Random Schmuck, swerves around and runs him over for good measure*  
  
"I STOLE A KISS AT THE TURN OF A MILE"  
  
Heero: ^_^ *turns around and goes where he was supposed to, satisfied at Random Schmuck's crippled-ness*  
  
"MY CURIOSITY RUNNIN' WILD..."  
  
(cut to Relena's party [of which Heero ripped up the invitation ^_^])  
  
Relena's Groupies: *swooning over nobody in particular*  
  
Relena: *making out with Duet, Hilde AND Dorothy in the corner, nobody seems to notice*  
  
Director [Off-stage]: *intently watching the door for Random Schmuck*  
  
Relena: *stares at her watch* Oh shit, I hafta go! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one *runs off* Don't come looking for me if I get lost or shot or something!!!!!!!1111111111one  
  
Relena's Groupies + Parents: o_O  
  
Duet + Hilde + Dorothy: *shrug* *go back to making out... without Relena*  
  
(cut to wherever Relena's running to)  
  
Overly Obsessed Gundam Wing Fanboy: But Random Schmuck didn't tell you that Heero was driving an ambulance to the military base in this super-craptastic version of Gundam Wing by this weirdo that claims to be Quatre doped up on ZERO, unlike the original done by the great Hajime Yatate, where you WERE told by Random Schmuck!  
  
Relena: Were you in the original GW?  
  
OOGWF: Uhm... no...  
  
Relena: Well then, will you get out of this one?  
  
OOGWF: NEVER!!!!!!!!!11111111111one  
  
Relena: *sighs* PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111one  
  
Pagan: *salutes and drives over OOGWF* *reverses back over him* *continues until OOGFW is totally flat* *it takes a long time, for it turns out OOGWF was actually very fat*  
  
Relena: *gets in the pink limo*  
  
Pagan: *drives off to the military base*  
  
(cut to the military base)  
  
Heero: *drives up and all sorts of things explode*  
  
Random OZzies: *die*  
  
Random OZzie Captain: *sees Heero's ambulance* MEDICS! GEt those casualities outta here! ...Medics? *looks over*  
  
Heero's ambulance: *is empty*  
  
Heero: *tiptoeing past the captain and giggling*  
  
(cut to the torpedo room)  
  
Heero: *beats a few people up and steals 3 torpedoes, somehow pulling them up to the surface of a sub despite it being a base he attacked not a sub o_O*  
  
Relena: *runs in* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111one  
  
Heero: ...*acting as if he's at a rave* *shouts* YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111one  
  
Relena: *gasp* Heero, what are you doing?!  
  
Heero: ...Stealing torpedoes to blow up my Gundam despite the fact I shouldn't really know it's going to pop up?  
  
Relena: *gasp* Those are torpedoes, aren't they, Heero?! I can tell!  
  
Heero: ...You're a fast one, aren't you?  
  
Relena: *gasp* Heero! KISS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one  
  
Heero: ...No. Go to hell, bitch. *pulls his gun at Relena*  
  
Relena: *gasp*  
  
Duo: *appears and points a gun at Heero* Hey! What do you think you're doing?!  
  
Relena: *gasp*  
  
Duo: *turns to Relena* ARGH! MY EYES! TOO... UGLY!!!!!!!!1111111111one *points gun at Relena and shoots*  
  
Relena: *gasp* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111one  
  
Duo's bullet: *sees Relena* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!111111111one It's too ugly and repulsive... I mustn't allow this metal to be defiled... *pulls up and hits Heero*  
  
Heero: *drops his gun* Argh! You son of a bith bullet!  
  
Relena: *gasp* HEEEERO!!!!!!111111one NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!111111111one Why'd you take the bullet for me?!!!!!!!!!111one  
  
Heero: *deathglares at Duo*  
  
Duo: Hey! Since when was I the bad guy here?! I tried to kill HER!  
  
Heero: ... I'll do it...  
  
Duo: *blindly aims at Relena again*  
  
Heero: ...myself! *jumps to grab his gun*  
  
Duo: *shoots*  
  
Duo's Bullet #2: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!111111111one TOO UGLY! *swerves WAY off and hits Heero in the leg*  
  
Heero: YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111one  
  
Relena: *gasp* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111one  
  
Relena's scream: *hits the launch button for the torps*  
  
Torpedoes: *launch and hit Wing & Deathscythe which have just popped up*  
  
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!!!1111111111one *shoots blindly at Relena*  
  
Relena: *gasp* *little girl scream*  
  
Relena's scream: *hits Heero and sends him flying into the ocean*  
  
Zer0Kataru: Mwaha! I have finally updated in like 3 weeks! Ph33r me!  
  
Email response o_O to "Duoet & Cunobaby"  
  
Duoet:   
  
1. I am Duoet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-Ohayo, bakayarou. ^_^-  
  
2. You are an evil meanie.   
  
-Arigato gozaimasu, bakayarou ^_^-  
  
3. Sailor Kirby is a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-I realize that, bakayarou.-  
  
4.That is my name.   
  
-What is, bakayarou?-  
  
5. I think...   
  
-Well that's a first, bakayarou.-  
  
6. You have no right to flame my friend.   
  
-She wrote "R&R". I did so. Except I deleted the first "r" and replaced the scond with "f" ^_^-  
  
7. I did not know there was a duet!!!!!!!!!   
  
-That's because all you do is sit around and blabber on about "duo being yours forever" without actually reading the facts.-  
  
8. You are evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-ARIGATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111one ^_^-  
  
9. Since when is Quatre on dope???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-He isn't. He's doped up on ZERO. "doped up" is a figure of speech to say "drugged up", just like the drug "acid" isn't actually acid. o_O When I was telling my friends about what happened when I took it last month they were like "was it hydrochloric?" and I was confused until I realized they thought I literally drank acid. o_O-  
  
10. You are a complete @$$.   
  
-^_^ I love it how retards like you censor stuff-  
  
Happy thoughts,   
  
-Happy thoughts are evil...-  
  
Meagan C.   
  
Cunobaby:   
  
Hello!!!!!!!!! How are you? Oh... wait a minute... I don't CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-That hurts. But I gues sit makes sense; I don't even know who you are ^_^-  
  
How dare you insult my friend. She is so much better than you could ever hope to be!   
  
-At...?-  
  
Why do you go around and insult people you don't know anything about?!?   
  
-Why are you?-  
  
My friend Mai-Mai   
  
-Whoozat?-  
  
is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than you!!!   
  
-At what?-  
  
Oh, and in case you were wondering, SK is a GIRL!!!!!   
  
-Why would I be wondering? Look at 99% of my MSTs here.-  
  
Course, you probabably heard that about a thousand times already,   
  
-*gasp* the first person who realizes everyone else is stating teh obvious*  
  
but I really don't care. And by the way, you're fics aren't that good.   
  
-I never said they were ^^-  
  
I would put this in a review, so that the whole world would be able to see it, but the stupid computer won't let me review!! (darn stupid scrap metal!).   
  
-It's okay, I'm letting the whole world see it now.-  
  
But I really musn't waste anymore precious time talking to such an incompetent moron as you.   
  
-Incompetent at...?-  
  
Good day sir! Best wishes in the future!   
  
-From you, that's more like a curse.-  
  
~~~Cunobaby~~~   
  
^_^   
  
P.S. I have a few last words for you:   
  
-Could you PLEASE take out "for you" so you're dying? PLEASE?-  
  
1. You are an incompetent (take your pick of the following):   
  
numskull (is actually in the dictionary), nincompoop (same), fool,   
  
buffoon, retardate, imbecile.   
  
-I'll take fool. I actually don't have any logic ^_^-  
  
2. You should shut up, you sound smarter that way.   
  
-Now here's where I'm a million times superior to you: I actually acknowledge when I'm being a hypocrite.-  
  
3. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-Uh...-  
  
4. Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-...-  
  
5. Evil meanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-That's a compliment.-  
  
6. Now we will all poke you with STICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-...How...?-  
  
7. ....and I shall whack you over the head with the Amazing Gold Mallet of Doom (TM)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
-Again, how?-  
  
-SUPAA SPECIAL NOTE: You are the first people to ever flame me that have no point at all! Even people who randomly spam me with flames saying "you suck" are more intelligent than you ^_^-  
  
Replies to Reviews! ^_^  
  
]SUPAA SPECIAL MST of Choad Muncher's Flame ^_^[  
  
YOU FREAKN' BAKA MONO   
  
-One: you misspelt "freaking", and the closest japanese word to "mono" is "nimo"...-  
  
NO BAKA YEARO!   
  
-Two: You misspelt "yarou", and "bakayarou" is ONE word, idiot.-  
  
LEAVE SAILOR KIRBY ALONE!   
  
-NEIN.-  
  
If you think you can judge Fics when you haven't even read the whole Fic isn't right...  
  
-I read it all until I saw the OC... her writing style was waaaay too brief. My flame was legitimate.-  
  
I mean you didn't even read SK's Fic all the way, YOU CAN'T FLAME OR JUDGE!   
  
-Yes I can...-  
  
On a writing scale of 1-100, 1 being lowest and 100 being highest, SK is 100   
  
-Obviously, then, you haven't read any of Tori Yuki Ichimura's fics, or "Swapping Souls".  
  
while you are LOWER than 1!   
  
-...Despite the face it's got a minimum of one... I question your maths skills.-  
  
And about the war...*takes out voodoo doll of Zer0 and sticks a few pins in it*I don't think you're going to win...  
  
-Dude, voodoo is all fake shit. And seeing how all of Pannerz & SK's flames seem so pacifistic and how Bishi is all torn up on how I twisted his words, the ONLY way you americans stand a chance of winning World War II-2 is if you're like one of those idiot jocks that keep replying to everything I say with "what's that? you're gay?" despite that fact my words are sorta making their brains explode...-  
  
]SUPAA SPECIAL MST of Sailor Kirby's Flame ^_^[  
  
Umm, yeah, I have time to write now. I've been cut off every time before.   
  
-It's called "saving + continuing"...-  
  
So, anyway. Replying to reviews you sent me.  
  
-Sure taking a while...-  
  
My opinions are very valid.   
  
-Tee-hee.-  
  
I don't see where you get off saying they aren't.  
  
-Let's see. I'm your enemy. How about that?-  
  
And, let me get this straight. First you have the nerve to call me a guy, but then you call me a HOMOSEXUAL guy? Please, explain your reasoning to me.   
  
-Sure thing: Bishi is homosexual. Technically, by calling you a homosexual guy, I'm saying you're a straight girl and, as a side effect, calling Bishi a homosexual man. =D-  
  
I know I'm not that great of an authoress,   
  
-*nods wisely*-  
  
or a speller.   
  
-I never said anything about your spelling abilities.-  
  
I mention that my fanfics are crap in my profile.   
  
-Do I look like I read your profile?-  
  
I *don't* like your using my review place as a battlefield.  
  
-'Snot me, it's bishi and all them.-  
  
I'd rather add to my review count with people who like my fics.   
  
-Too bad. I'm happy with my 6/10 reviews being retals for you.-  
  
Yeah, I'm thrilled that I have 60 reviews,   
  
-I would be too. Time to go out and make enemies ^_^ *lock and load*-  
  
but I much prefer the ones from people who are either saying that they enjoy my fic   
  
-Too bad.-  
  
or are telling you that you aren't being fair.   
  
-Now that's around half your reviews. And they do a lot of psycho swearing while they're at it.-  
  
And honestly. You shouldn't call my friend a lard-tub,   
  
-Honto? *goes to your fic and reads his review*-  
  
just because she responded to your own writing after you flamed me.   
  
-Nani? She did? *blinku*-  
  
I didn't go call you anything, now did I?   
  
-Yeah but you have other things to do.-  
  
I simply stated you weren't very fair.   
  
-Trying to be civilized in this world of terrorism will get you nowhere.-  
  
Yes, I realize that there are many Duo fangirls,   
  
-You DID mean "too many", right?-  
  
and not enough OZ.   
  
-O_o I was using Random OZzie as an example...-  
  
Personally, my favorite characters are both Wufei and Zechs.   
  
-Good for you.-  
  
But as I said before, you'd have to KNOW Duoet (pronounced Duet) to understand.   
  
-Let's see: She probably doesn't own even 1/4 of the Duo merchandise, she doesn't spend her whole day dreaming about him, she doesn't have him as her wallpaper, she probably doesn't even have his image album (soundtrack). It had better be something REALLY deep.-  
  
And she can't write her own Gundam Wing fanfiction because   
  
-...she is illiterate. I think she'd still do a better job than you.-  
  
her dad has permanent monitoring of the singular computer   
  
-SingLE.-  
  
in their house and he doesn't 'approve' of her watching GW.   
  
-So her obsession only boils down to children rebelling against parents. Figures.-  
  
He thinks its a guy show   
  
-That's actually true. Sotsu intended it to only be a guy show, but they were proved wrong when it came to the US.-  
  
and his daughter shouldn't watch it. She has to hide her Episode Zero manga and diguise her printed fics as homework.   
  
-Her father probably hasn't even seen GW, they wouldn't recognise a fanfic.-  
  
Actually, I'm surprised her dad hasn't found them yet, but I guess she's just lucky.   
  
-No, her father is just thick.-  
  
Duoet is the person who got me started on Gundam Wing fandom.   
  
-...Yet she owns no merchandise whatsoever. *plays with Gundam SeeD stuff*  
  
Before I met her, I thought there was only Mobile Suit Gundam, and I never watched it.   
  
-o_o ...My first series was Victory Gundam, at the same time as Zeta Gundam and Double Zeta... I became a Gundam fan at the age of two.-  
  
(I'm very ashamed of this, but at my first AnimeFEST! I... I asked Scott McNeil what a Duo was... *hides face in embarresment*   
  
-*blinku* 'Sok. I thought the Lakers were golf players once. They're soccer, right?-  
  
Just in case you don't know, he's Duo's American voice actor.   
  
-Obviously, I didn't know that - the ONLY Duo(s) I know are Toshihiko-san (Duo's japanese seiyuu) and the supposed "real Duo".-  
  
But he asked me if I was a Duo fan, because I was getting his autograph since he did Picclo as well, and I'd never heard of GW.   
  
-...Let me get this straight: you went to an anime con with no knowledge of GW, Gravi, Nadesico, GS (not that it was out back then), or any other decent anime, to get the autograph of an american voice actor because he did the voice of a DUBBED Dragonball Z character?-  
  
Looking back, GOD! He must have thought me a freak.   
  
-Me too. I still don't get why you'd want the autograph of an AMERICAN voice actor for a DUBBED Dragonball Z.-  
  
Not that that's entirely untrue... But in a different way.)   
  
-You sure?-  
  
Ah, shoot. Being cut off again. I'll just E-Mail you later. Sorry this was so long.  
  
-No prob. I REALLY don't want to do my damn graphic design assignment.-  
  
]MST of Pannerz Reviews (1 of 2)[  
  
-A note before I begin: I don't intend to offend you by the act of "dissecting" your review, but it's really the only way I can answer all your comments.-  
  
I totally agree with Bishi.  
  
-About...?-  
  
You had NO RIGHT to dis SK on her fic...   
  
-"R&R" is an invitation to "R&F" or just plain "F", you know. I accept flames... And then MST them ^_^-  
  
it is called FANFICTION... meaning the fans can do whatever the heck they want with THEIR fics.   
  
-And so can I ^_^-  
  
Hey, YOU put a character in that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST in the series anymore, so now YOU'RE being  
  
hypocritical, cuz that basically counts as an OC.   
  
-o_O I see your point. But by OC I mean SI, even if SK put her friend in the fic.-  
  
You can't dis her story JUST because of that anyway... at LEAST SHE can write.   
  
-Er... I'm re-reading through chapter 1 of her fic... everything is way too brief. I'm guilty of that too with my recent chapters, but that's because I rushed them. Next chapter should definetly be mroe fleshed out.-  
  
And, no, I'm not nearly as good a fanfic writer as i could be(and at least I can admit it).  
  
-I never talked about you. And I, too, admit I suck at writing fanfics.-  
  
Wouldn't you feel dissed if someone flamed you because you used Quatre as a main character,  
  
JUST because they don't like him?!   
  
-Noo... I respect everyone's opinions... provided they're vaild.-  
  
You'd be doing the same thing we're doing...   
  
-I don't tend to retaliate to flames unless they're REALLY funny like Bishi's or I feel the flamer is intelligent enough to put up a decent F-War.-  
  
u need to repect other peoples work   
  
-I do. Provided it deserves to be. SI fics don't tend to be - mine included.-  
  
so others may repect yours as well...   
  
-I don't care if people respect my work or not. I write to make people laugh and to improve my writing skill. Whether they enjoy my work or not is a problem I need to fix.-  
  
Also, if you don't respect others opinions, expect to be flamed/critized for anything you do that's in your own opinion.  
  
-...I START F-Wars for a reason...-  
  
Oh yeah, the main reason i sent this in is cuz you must not have read the OTHER reviews to Sailor Kirby's story that you reviewed/flamed lately... and that is NOT what I call constructive criticism from you.  
  
-o.o Obviously my criticism can't count as constructive when I'm practically screaming to remove OCs from an OC fic.-  
  
Hope I helped you out...  
  
-Oh yes, you totally cleared my mind and soul... [/sarcasm] ... ...Wait, you DID help me out... I'm supposed to be doing my astronomy assignment; responding to this review REALLY helped clear my mind. Thanks ^_^  
  
]MST of Pannerz Reviews (2 of 2)[  
  
Ya know, I was GOING to go through how unjust   
  
-WU FEI WANNABE! ^_^ *glomps you*  
  
ur "dissecting" of Bishi's review was,   
  
-It's actually "MST". Apparently it stands for "Mystical Space Theater"; it's supposed to be a show where people watch really old movies and make comments. I haven't seen it myself, but I supposed it's good.-  
  
but I'm not. I'll be merciful... cuz I'm cool like dat. *laughs: yeah right...*  
  
-No, you just have other stuff to flame me about.-  
  
Anywayz, after sending my last review, and beginning to write about ur reply to Bishi's review, I missed something: you sent another review. So I stopped my review and read yours. Here's my reply:  
  
-I can't think of any smart-ass comment to make. Reading on now...-  
  
1)"Duo and Duet got married in real life"? As in, real people... I don't understand this.   
  
-As I said, the G-Boys, Duet, Relena and Dorothy are supposed to be based on real people with those names and are supposed to look like them. I'm VERY skeptical, but it kinda makes sense. I have to go to an anime con sometime to see them.-  
  
But it didn't happen in the show! Got it? Good. Glad that's cleared up.   
  
-As with a lot of anime, couplings are only implied for the use of fan service material, or the fangirls/boys would be sad. Obviously they're not going to let people as hot as Duo and Duet get married in the show o_O-  
  
Oh yeah, and you can say "Yeah, they're married" or whatever, but as far as WE know, they're not,   
  
-Read Tori's fic "American Wedding in Kyoyo RNDM"...-  
  
and won't be yet,   
  
-See above...-  
  
so you can't criticize us for pairing him with someone else...   
  
-Everybody makes weird pairings. hell, Quatre (Touma) is married to Mika (I'm talking about Gravitation before you people start flaming me about OCs,) but SOME people *pointed look at Naomi Hunter* decide to pair him with Yuki...-  
  
well you can. Heck, you DID criticize us. But that still doesn't make it right.  
  
-Define "right". Besides, somewhere you told me to respect everyone's opinions. Same to you. :P-  
  
2)"Duet Maxine may have been cut from GW in 1995..." I don't have to go on... Bottom line? She. Was. Cut. Don't criticize us for it. End of story.  
  
-If this was a real-life F-War, you'd probably keep repeating "End of story." while I defend myself with "See 13 lines above" and "An OVA with Duet in it is IN THE MAKING, damn you!"-  
  
3)"...GW fangirls need to get a life." ALL of us?  
  
-Yes. What I mean is the fangirls that are obsessed with Duo, Quatre, Heero, Trowa & Zechs (There aren't enough Wu Fei or Random OZzie fangirls to count as saying "get a life") need to get a life because there are a million superior girls that are equally as obsessed and the fangirls I'm telling to get a life will never get their obsession.-  
  
What about the FANBOYS? You admit that ur hooked on GW, yet don't say anything about you yourself "getting a life"...   
  
-See above. People just obsessed with a series in general are fine, but Trekkies and such spend their whole lives on Star Trek, so they need lives, not GW fangirls/boys. (There isn't enough GW merchandise to spend one's life on.)-  
  
4)"..too many..." Duo fangirls?   
  
-Yes. See two replies above.-  
  
Hey, we like em, so we're gonna say something about it.   
  
-Uh... I don't understand...-  
  
We're not going around saying "we hate Duo-haters".. at least not ALL of us...   
  
-...Duo Fangirls LOVE Duo-haters because that's one less person (out of millions) they have to compete with for Duo.-  
  
sides, I haven't seen any as of yet... but we're gonna like em.   
  
-Wu Fei hates Duo. Not really, but in most stereotyping fics, he does. "but we're gonna like em"? I don't understand.-  
  
Done deal. But if you think there's too many of us, fine. Your opinion. But we'll still be here... :P  
  
-Dude, that sounds so creepy...-  
  
4)Okay, you admit it. You're a hypocrite.   
  
-Hypocrite in that I write SI fanfics.-  
  
Then you say all this other stuff...   
  
-Not pertaining to the SI topic without admittance of hypocrisy...-  
  
since you admitted that, you should apoligize. That's not very hard now, is it?  
  
-No, but I don't like to apologise.-  
  
Oh, and I'm 'sorry' that you're "a mean person by nature" as you said in Chapter 4 of your last updated story,   
  
-Please don't be. It's unnecessary.-  
  
but let's face it: you should still apoligize.  
  
-NEIN.-  
  
I know I must've made SOME spelling/grammar/punctuation mistake SOMEWHERE.   
  
-Grammar: Three.  
  
Punctuation: Three.  
  
Spelling: Two (according to Word, but I swear I saw at least two more.).-  
  
I know that. But I hope I got my point across... BTW, if you plan to dissect this (or something) whatever, it's your story,   
  
-See the bit just before my MST of your review.-  
  
but at least tell me if I got my point across,   
  
-You got your point across. It's that Duet counts as an OC because the GW remix isn't out yet, right?-  
  
or we still have work to do...  
  
-Perhaps you do.-  
  
P.S. I still meant at least "some" of the other review I left... but i'm still not taking it back.  
  
-I don't understand one word of that.-  
  
P.P.S. I know nobody's perfect.   
  
-Heero and Mairyuu (From Gundam SeeD before you accuse me of mentioning an OC!) are. :P-  
  
But if we try to make up for our mistakes,   
  
-I try.-  
  
admit we were wrong,   
  
-I admitted I make SI fanfics.-  
  
and then do something about it,   
  
-It isn't my fault I write OC fanfics. I'm not gonna stop writing them and neither is SK. :P-  
  
I bet we can come pretty close to it.  
  
-Close to perfection? *looks in mirror* *looks at sub-perfect test scores* ...Not gonna happen.-  
  
]Yume Keki - MST-type[  
  
:P I don't give a damn either.  
  
-I thought you're like, 9 years old? Quite a potty-mouth you are. Are you Mariemaia?-  
  
Bird pie is YUCKY!   
  
-Damn straight. Isn't it a synonym for bird-shit?-  
  
You need to taste kangaroo pie. Now that's yummy.  
  
-...No comment. As a general, kangaroo meat is too tough for me. I'll stick to turkey.-  
  
50 chapters? ;-;.   
  
-It'll be probably 150, considering it takes 3 chapters to cover an episode... o_O-  
  
I'll never be able to write a fanfic.   
  
-You did, didn't you? That insane CCS fic about Syaoran the cow?-  
  
I've got a plot, but I can't put it into a story, ya know?  
  
-See above.-  
  
If you get more flames, please answer them.   
  
-Lookie what I did this chapter.-  
  
My biggest weak point is the pity I feel for others.   
  
-o_O How the fuck did you change from one topic to another so fast? Even I can't keep track.-  
  
Though, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy the bashing of pathetic flamers.   
  
-Well, at least you came back to the topic of flamers.-  
  
At least it proves they aren't TOO lazy, because they can press the damn button and flame. I really do pity them.  
  
-I hope you also pity da foo', or Mr.T is gonna come knockin'. NOTE: I actually have no idea who Mr. T is other than the fact he pities fools.-  
  
Please continue, while I am Sane/Evil (my split personalities are Sane, Evil and Insane, incase you wanted to know)  
  
-Uh... don't you mean "personality attributes" or just "moods"? Don't use words you don't know.-  
  
-Oh, and one more note, I was reading your profile, and it's SOOOOOOOO obvious that by "*I'm not gonna say it*" you mean yaoi. o_O Yaoi lemons are wrong, but 1x2, 3x4, 1x3, 2x5 and 1x5 are really cute... but only at shounen-ai level. And Kira x Mwu can go as far as they like as far as I'm concerned. *nods wisely*-  
  
]Kouhikouryuu[  
  
No, it's just that merely reading your jokes made me catch your stupid. (And before I get called an idiot for bad grammar, apparently it was an insult off Pokemon. I guess they were making fun of those super-craptastic fansubs from hong kong? o_O *giggles at super-craptastic Gundam SeeD hong-kong fansubs) Oh, and yes, we are all "so full of hate", wherever that quote came from.  
  
]Sailor Kirby - MST-type[  
  
I would just like to say I'm sorry that Bishi attacked you.   
  
-'Snot your fault.-  
  
I don't even know the freak,   
  
-Can I PLEASE forward that statement to him? PLEASE? *puppy dog eyes*-  
  
but he's been hanging around one of my fanfics. He's quite scary...   
  
-I'm positive I made a statement about that in my last chapter...-  
  
But I'm sorry, He really shouldn't have done that.   
  
-Again, 'snot your fault.-  
  
FYI, I'm a GIRL. You called me a guy several times, and I don't apperciate that.   
  
-=D Sorry, but I tend to manipulate people to make it look like my insult targets are homosexual.-  
  
I'd like to see the OVA series if it will have Duet in it.   
  
-It WILL have Duet in it, the only thing is if Tori was telling the truth about it. And I swear I will massacre ALL of Sotsu if they seriously make Deathscythe so ugly and grey and orange... But the boots were cool ^_^ In case you're curious about it, I'm sending you (via email) some lineart of the gundams from the OVA. WING IS SOOO SEXY IN THE OVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one ^_^-  
  
But my friend's name isn't really Duoet.   
  
-Phew.-  
  
She made that up, even if it's not very original.   
  
-Damn straight.-  
  
And once more I'd like to say that you would have to know her to understand the reason behind the madness.   
  
-Okay, either she actually owns EVERY single piece of Duo merchandise (and that's impossible because Yamato (of Heero Is Not Toast) is the ONLY person on earth that has Duo Plush) or there's some kind of conspiracy going on, but I'm totally positive that there's no way she's the world's biggest Duo fan.-  
  
If you'd like to talk more, I'll take you up on your offer and E-Mail you.   
  
-I'll talk, but don't go stressing out trying to get those e-mails out on time. I'm screwed for time as it is. Just send 'em when you can.-  
  
My E-Mail is Demon_Bunny4@Hotmail.com, so please don't delete it as soon as it pops up.  
  
-I don't tend to. Even junk mail hangs around my inbox for up to 2 days.-  
  
]Fuck You![  
  
Obviously, she's a girl. I'm not really sure if even someone as gay as Quatre would prance around with a BSSM + Kirby name. Come to think about it, I'm not sure if Quatre would even want to associate himself with Kirby. And Quatre is actually 100% queer. At least for now.  
  
]Ya-yuki[  
  
I just covered this - I know she's a girl, I just wanted to make Bishi sound homosexual.  
  
===================================================================================================  
  
To Be Continued  
  
=================================================================================================== 


End file.
